Conflicted Emotions of the Heart
by smartgirl796
Summary: With a "back from the dead" Lisanna, a confused Natsu, and an angered Lucy, will anyone be happy in the end? In a tale of conflicted emotions, there is no happily ever after for some people. First story! Please read! NaLu all the way!... or is it?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey everyone! hope you like my story! Its my very first one, so go easy on me! :) I've been reading Fanfiction for a while, but i never bothered to upload my own. I'm still getting used to everything (and i don't know if my author's note is even in the right spot -.-') So if you have any advice or tips please tell em! (please let me know if this is in the right spot!)

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><p><span>Prologue<span>

Normal POV

Lucy sat at the bar of Fairy Tail watching the many loud guild members. Cana having her barrel of beer, Levy doing some kind of writing, Gray and Natsu going at it, and Elfman scolding them about being a man. Nothing out of the ordinary. Today seemed like any other day at the guild, but there was a surprise to come…

As Lucy sat at the bar watching the chaos that was called Fairy Tail Mirajane came from behind the bar, holding a piece of strawberry shortcake. "Hey Lucy! You seem awfully quiet, something on your mind?" Mirajane asked curiously.

"Nah. I'm just soaking up the feel of Fairy Tail." Lucy replied, letting out a sigh of content.

Mirajane knew how she felt. There was always a certain feeling that she's had every time she's at Fairy Tail, like there was an aura around the guild, keeping it in peaceful chaos. Mira sighed right along with Lucy.

Lucy's Pov

I really don't want to leave but I have to. My rent isn't going to pay itself. I waved good bye to Mira and headed for the door. When I was only a couple feet away from the door I felt a warm aura coming towards me. I slowly turned around and saw none other than Natsu Dragneel standing there giving me a toothy grin. I looked behind him and saw Gray holding ice to his head muttering some choice words, while Elfman scolded him about losing and being a "real man" about it.

I giggled and turned my attention back to Natsu. I don't know what it is about him, but whenever I'm around him I feel warm (no pun intended) and fuzzy. It's always the little things about him that make me smile though. Like that one pointy tooth that's always there when he smiles or the way he furrows his eyebrows when he's in deep thought (which doesn't happen often). I didn't realize how dazed I was until I felt Natsu grab my shoulders and lightly shake me. "Hey Luce, snap out of it. You were standing there looking off into space and your face was kind of red. You ok?" The curious Dragon Slayer asked. I blushed even more, realizing that I was caught up in thoughts about Natsu.

Natsu's Pov

I examined Lucy's face as it got even redder. What could make her blush like this? She can be so weird some times. I was about to ask her about it, but I started to get lost in her chocolate brown eyes. I love how they always light up when she smiles. Awww, her smile…. Nothing can describe how beautiful it is….

I honestly don't even remember leaning towards Lucy, but I slowly inched my face closer to hers. A deep blush covered her cheeks and she started to lean in as well. I moved my hand up to caress her cheek and the warmth from it gave me slight confidence. This is one of the only times where I'm not overconfident about something. Our faces were mere inches from each other and I began to speak, "Lucy. I really need to tell you how beautiful you and that I… I- " My confession was cut short as the doors of the guild swung open. I looked away from Lucy's face to see who had ruined my moment.

A million and one emotions ran through me. Two of the main ones were shock and confusion. There was no explanation for who I saw or why they were here. I removed my hand from Lucy's cheek, for the heat on her face actually felt like it was _burning_ me. As the figure standing at the door looked into my eyes they gave me a warm, welcoming smile. There wasn't enough strength in the world for me to be able to move my mouth from anything but a straight line. The only thing keeping me anchored to my spot is Lucy's warm hand slowly intertwining our fingers. All around us guild members cheered and clinked glasses of beer against one another. Many shed tears of shear happiness, while others stood shocked and speechless. Lucy turned around to see why everyone was cheering. Big mistake. I saw a million and _two_ emotions pass through Lucy's widened eyes. The person at the door slightly faltered at the sight of Lucy, but quickly covered it with a warm, but at the same time cold, smile. I caught a glimpse of Lucy's mouth slightly twitching downward, but she forced it back into a straight line.

I completely understand why they reacted this way to each other. For the visitor at the door had frost white hair and big blue eyes…

Normal Pov

The guild was an uproar of emotion. People dancing, cheering, and getting drunk. Mira and Elfman were crying their eyes out as they hugged Lisanna. "Real men cry!" Elfman exclaimed.

Lisanna smiled at her older siblings and excused herself from them. She walked through the guild, searching for a certain fire mage. She stumbled upon him at a table near the back of the guild and he was sitting alone. He was looking down at the table, his brows furrowed in concentration. Lisanna walked over and tapped Natsu on the shoulder, startling the said mage.

Natsu's Pov

I felt a tap on my shoulder and jumped a little. I turned around expecting to see Gray, trying to pick a fight. To my surprise it was Lisanna. Well, I shouldn't be surprised; I knew she was going to find me sooner or later. I did my best to give her my signature smile, but it ended up looking like a mix of a grin and a scowl, but more of a scowl.

"So, Natsu… you looked like you were in deep thought. What were you thinking about?" Lisanna asked me.

An awkward silence fell over us. Truthfully I was thinking about her and Lucy. Not even her smile could mend my broken heart. I had never felt so incomplete in my life. '_Nothing'_ is more than what I'm feeling, and I can still feel the sting of Lucy's words…

_Flashback_

_Elfman and Mira were the first ones to reach Lisanna as they engulfed her in a hug. They quickly pulled her into the middle of the guild and showed her off to everyone as they cheered. I pulled my hand away from Lucy's and turned around to stare at Lisanna. I was so confused. Here I was about to confess my feelings to Lucy and now I'm staring at Lisanna. The latter gave me another warm smile and I swear I saw her send a glare at Lucy, but it could've been my imagination. My mouth was still in a straight line and my expression was as blank as unused paper. Staring at Lisanna didn't help my jumbled up feelings, so I turned back towards Lucy, just to see that she was gone. I looked all through the guild (avoiding the center of course) but found no Lucy. I asked around the guild but had no luck. So I decided to ask Lucy's best friend, Levy, surely she would know where Lucy went. I spotted Levy sitting at a table with Gajeel reading a book. The sight of Levy reading a book to Gajeel would have made me crack up, but I had other things on my mind_

'' _Hey Levy! Have you seen Lucy anywhere?" I asked the blue haired mage._

"_Actually, I just saw Lu-Chan! She said something about going home…" Levy replied, looking up from her book._

"_Yeah and Bunny girl looked kinda upset. What'd ya do this time flame-brain?" Gajeel piped in._

"_Shut up Metal head! I ain't do nothin'! I would never hurt Lucy…" I whispered the last part softly. Apparently not soft enough though, since Gajeel smirked and Levy clasped her hands together and had a dreamy look on her face. I looked at her quizzically. She came out of her dreamy state and began to push me toward the guild doors._

"_You have to go Natsu! Go make Lu-Chan happy again! You're her knight in shining armor!" Levy said dreamily._

"_Last time I checked, the knight wasn't part dragon." Gajeel muttered. Levy sent him a quick glare, gave me one last push and sent me out the door. I quickly recovered and sprinted towards Lucy's house._

"_Tell Lu-chan I said hi! And tell her to hurry up on the novel!" Levy shouted to me._

_As I ran I accidentally bumped someone and caused them to trip and fall into the river. As they fell I heard a familiar yelp, followed by a splash. I looked toward the lake and saw none other than Lucy Heartfilia trying to rise from the river. I tried to help her out of the river but she was already out, and soaking wet. "Sorry Luce! I was actually on my way to your house to cheer you up. Levy and Gajeel said that you were upset when you left." I looked at Lucy and saw a sort of sadness in her eyes. I heard Lucy mumble something, and my hearing almost didn't catch it._

"_Oh, so that's why you came after me. Because you thought that I was upset._

"_Well why were you going so fast? I don't live that far away." She replied. I wanted to say _'because I really like you and wanted to be close to you as soon as possible. Oh, and being near you would help me forget my resurfacing feelings for Lisanna_._'_ But instead what came out was, "Well, because my feelings for Lisanna are-" Lucy held her hand out, signaling me to stop._

"_Never mind Natsu. You don't have to explain yourself and you don't have to cheer me up. I'm fine. Why don't you go back to the guild and…" I had a really strong feeling that she was going to say Lisanna. I don't know if it was the cold water, but Lucy started shaking and it looked like tears were falling from her eyes. I hated seeing Lucy like this._

"_Lucy." Was all that left my mouth. I tried to give her a hug and try to warm her up, but she backed away from me._

"_Don't touch me." She whispered._

"_What?" I had heard her clearly, but her words confused me._

"_Natsu I'm fine! Just leave me alone!" Lucy yelled at me. Her tone of voice shocked me. Her yelling cracked my heart a bit._

"_Luce is there something wrong with you? You know that you can always talk to me right?"_

_Lucy scoffed. "Yeah, I can always talk to you. It didn't seem like it when _she_ walked through the door."_

_I tried to go in for another hug, but she just backed away yet again._

"_Luce, you're my… friend," I cringed at that word. "I can't just leave you like this." I argued back. I wasn't going to start yelling at her, because that would just make things worse. But she was really starting to frustrate me._

_What she said next hurt worse than 100 punches from Elfman's beast arm._

"_If you were really my friend then you'd leave me alone! Can't you get it through your thick head? Are you so dense that you can't understand basic English? I don't want to see you right now! In fact, the only reason I'm still standing here is so that I can get the words that I'm saying to get through your thick head! Why don't you go back to Lisanna, I'm sure she'd be thrilled to know about your _feelings_!" Lucy put a lot of venom into her words, especially feelings. "Personally, I don't give a rat's ass about your feelings for her! And you want to know something else? I'm quitting Team Natsu, so now you have room for Lisanna! And… and, I… I HATE YOU! So just leave me the hell ALONE!"_

_My heart broke into a million tiny pieces. That was the only way to describe my current state. My mouth couldn't produce any words because of the huge lump in my throat, so I just stared at Lucy. I could now clearly see the tears of anger and despair running down her face and hitting the streets of Magnolia. Each tear that hit the pavement was a piece of my heart that froze over and completely shattered into nothingness. Lucy was holding her hands in fists as she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to will the tears away. This all felt like my fault. I had hurt Lucy. I had promised to protect her with my life and now I had hurt her, not realizing it until it was too late. In that minute that I was staring at Lisanna I had given Lucy the wrong idea. I'm such an idiot!_

_I wanted so badly to hug Lucy and tell her that everything was going to be okay, but i was frozen in place._

_There wasn't an awkward silence between us. This kind of silence didn't have a name. It was just _Silence._ Then, without another word, Lucy turned around and ran in the direction of her house. I wanted to follow her, but I had a feeling that that would makes things between us even worse. So instead, I stood there and watched Lucy's retreating figure. About ten minutes passed, and my legs finally obeyed me._

_Instead of going to Lucy's house like I desired, I turned on my heels and walked back to the guild. Well, I didn't walk, more like trudged. The weight of the recent events had taken all of my energy. I was surprised by the fact that I was able to even move out of that spot, let alone make it to the guild. As i entered the door, I stayed along the wall and found a nice little table in the back of the guild. The perfect place for me to sulk._

As I recalled my memories of my night, I realized that Lisanna was now sitting in front of me. I tried once again to give my signature smile, but it was still a weird scowl type of grin.

However, Lisanna shook it off and stated to speak. "Natsu, I need to ask you a question and I'm going to be blunt about it."

I raised my eyebrow and gestured for her to continue. Her question sort of caught me off guard, but not by too much.

"What's going on between you and Lucy?"

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><p>AN: an there you have it folks! My first chapter of my first ever story! Hope you enjoyed it!. Leave comments if you want more, and criticism is welcome! just please no flames, those make me sad D: I don't have any specific update dates, so... yeah. I just posted this to see if people rally like my writing :) bye!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short! :( I was on a roll, but then I got writer's block! ( it really sux _). I'll try to update soon, but I can't make any promises. Sorry! I can write a lot, but I don't have all around internet all day everyday :(. Sooo... enjoy this chapter as much as you can! Hope that I didn't disappoint those who were waiting for another chappie!**

**Also thank you to:**

**Archangel-Angelo**

**afnaruto**

**BrOkEnToYbOx**

**for being my first reviews! :) you guys are awesome! I hope that I get more!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail! If I did then there would be A LOT more NaLu!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

Lucy's POV

(After the fight with Natsu)

He is such an asshole! I never thought that Natsu of all people would toy with my emotions! Then again, maybe I was too harsh when I yelled at him. He probably didn't mean to toy with me. After all, how would he know that Lisanna was coming back? Maybe I should go apologize…..

No Lucy! Snap out of it! Natsu is just a big jerk who doesn't care about your feelings! But then again, he was about to kiss me before _she_ came….

Maybe I'm judging Lisanna too harshly. I mean, how could she instantly know that I like Natsu? Who knows, maybe she's not that bad! Maybe we could try and be friends, and share Natsu as a… friend.

As I imagined how things would be if I tried to befriend Lisanna, I felt as sudden pain in my chest. The images flashing through my mind were ones of Lisanna slowly dragging Natsu away from me and keeping him for herself. Other images were of me trying to talk to Natsu, but he was far too busy talking to Lisanna to even notice me. The last image was the one that hurt the most. I imagined Natsu hugging Lisanna, and the latter giving me a look that said, _ha-ha, you lose this time bitch! He's MINE!_

I'm so confused! Why does it hurt so much? Why am I letting it hurt this much? My emotions are all jumbled up! To try and clear my head, I decided to take a nice hot bath. Baths always make me feel better. As I sink into the warm water, I let out a sigh of content. It's been a really long time since I've had a peaceful bath. Usually a certain Fire Dragon Slayer would come and interrupt my time of peace….

UGH! I have to stop thinking about that idiot! I need to completely push him away from my life and build my walls back up. I also need to try and be at the guild when he's not, and lower the risk of us bumping into each other. I can get Levy to tell me whenever he's not at the guild! Perfect! As my plans for avoiding Natsu formed in my head, I forgot to take one thing into account.

_Her._

What if Lisanna is at the guild when Natsu's not? It would be even worse if I bumped into her! There would be that awkward silence and the urge for me to tell her to leave Natsu alone and shove off. Ever so slowly, my plans crumbled into a pile of dust as I went over all of the things that could happen since I forgot about Lisanna.

So if I have no plan, how am I going to avoid that stupid flame-brained idiot, and the _witch_ who stole him from me?

Natsu's POV

What is going on between me and Lucy? I honestly don't know….

"Oh, well that's too bad." Lisanna suddenly said. I stared at her in confusion. "What's too bad?" I asked.

For a brief second, Lisanna looked like she had been caught doing something that she wasn't supposed to. Why would she have that look on her face? I just asked a question.

"Um, it's too bad that you don't know where you and Lucy stand. It kind of looked like you guys were in the middle of something when I walked in. Sorry to have interrupted your moment." Lisanna replied. For some reason, Lisanna's last sentence didn't seem very sincere, but it was probably just my imagination. Then again, I swear that I saw the tiniest hint of a smile on her face as she talked about ruining me and Lucy's moment, but it could've been my imagination.

Man, I'm imagining a lot of things today!

I looked at Lisanna and finally took into count how much I missed her. After she died, I never really smiled as much as I used to. I was still happy, but not as happy as I wanted to be. I always felt like a piece of me was missing….. but then I met Lucy. She immediately illuminated my days. Eventually, her very presence made me want to smile. I think that my feelings truly started during the Phantom incident. I had heard Lucy call my name, and next thing I know, I'm catching my falling nakama. I'll never tell her, but I actually enjoyed her landing on top of me after I caught her.

From then on, I always saw myself as Lucy's protector. The one who would keep her safe from anything that dared to hurt her.

Even me.

If I have to stay away from her to ensure her safety, then I will. Whether it is physical or emotional pain, I will keep her safe. Even if it pains me to have to stay away from her and not smell the sweet strawberry odor that is always surrounds, or to have to go on missions without my most precious nakama. As long as she has some kind of happiness, then a piece of what is left of my heart will have a bit of satisfaction.

What has Lucy done to me? I've become such a sap! But it's all for her. I guess she makes it worth it.

Suddenly, Lisanna got up from the table and had a sort of irritated look on her face. "Well, it was nice to see you again Natsu." She said through clenched teeth. "I'm gonna go help Mira-nee with the drinks and catch up with everybody else. Bye." With that, Lisanna walked away stiffly. I wonder why she looked irritated. Maybe it's because I barely talked to her. Oh well, not my fault.

"Tch, you really don't know how to talk to girls do you Flame-brain?" said a certain half naked ice mage.

"Go put some clothes on, and then we'll talk you walking Popsicle." I replied to my half naked rival.

"What was that Ash Breath?"

"I said, got put some god damn clothes on you frozen stripper!"

By now, we were head to head, pushing at each other.

"You wanna go, you Squinty Eyed Flamethrower?"

"Bring it on you Droopy Eyed Snowman! I'm all fired up!"

Just as my fire and his ice were about to collide, metal came between us. "Your fighting has interrupted my peaceful cake time! I suggest you cease this nonsense before I get too angry." said the one and only Erza Scarlet. She had a dark aura looming around her and two very deadly looking swords in her hands.

"A-aye!" me and Gray said in unison and hugged each other like we were the best of friends. Some things never really change.

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><p><strong>Once again, sorry for the short chapter! This is literally a bit more than HALF of my last one! With that in mind, please review! :) your reviews make me happy!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N****: Heyy Everybody! I'm alive! :) :D Sorry for the long wait! I have no excuse for being to lazy to write this story :I so sorry. Please enjoy! I will be continuing this story, so expect more! :) Thx to all those people that like my story and have subscribed to it! I love you guys! :) You all get a cookie! :D Sooooo without further ado, here is my story!  
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**Jk. I have to do a disclaimer XD  
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**Disclaimer: Fairy Tail does not belong to me! If it did, then everyone would hate it! There wouldn't be much of a story! I'd focus on NaLu the whole time! X3**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

Normal POV

Weeks passed since the day of Lisanna's return. Almost everyone in the guild was happy. Almost. There were two certain people that just weren't in the partying mood. Coincidentally, it was because of each other. A certain fire mage could be seen sitting at a table with a half-naked ice mage, the Titania, and a young "back from the dead" Take Over mage. Everyone was laughing, enjoying their time that was spent reminiscing. Or so it seemed. Behind the Dragon Slayer's mask, there was sadness. He was missing a certain Celestial mage.

~Natsu~

Where is she? I haven't seen her for weeks. Our "fight" must have had a big effect on her too. Things just haven't been the same. There's no one to softly scold me about fighting with Gray. There's Erza, but _'soft'_ isn't in her vocabulary. There's also Lisanna, but for some reason that wouldn't feel right. I would sort of feel like she was taking Lucy's place. Was she…..? Now that I actually think about it, she is kind of like a new Lucy. We've been on missions together, and I've been hanging out with her a lot. Is she a replacement Lucy?

The thought of using Lisanna as a replacement makes me feel bad. Then again, she kind of helps me forget about Lucy. Well, I don't really want to forget her; I just want to forget my feelings for her. I wonder how things would be if I forgot my feelings for Lucy. Who knows, maybe we could become friends and…. And what? Forget about everything? Start over and pretend like nothing ever happened? Pretend like we never almost kissed, and instantly become best friends again? I don't think things work like that.

There's probably not a redo button for life. If there was, then I would go and fix what I did wrong. Which gets me thinking, **(A/N: Shocker right? XD)** what did I do wrong? I looked at Lisanna? That's hardly something to get super pissed over. Then again, is she stared at another guy while she was in the middle of professing her love for me, I'd be pretty pissed. Knowing Lucy, she'd probably come to me and tell me that she was sorry for giving me the wrong idea.

Which brings me to my next question; should I go apologize? I've tried to go apologize, but I'm a wimp. Every time that I would go to her house, I'd just stand outside and then chicken out and leave. Elfman would probably be ashamed by how unmanly I'm being. The main reason why I haven't apologized yet is the fact that I don't want to get yelled at again. Sure, Lucy's yelled at me hundreds of times, but not like that. I'm afraid that she won't hear me out, and that she'll yell at me again, making my heart break more than it has already broken. Why break a broken a heart even more?

All of these thoughts were running through my head as I sat there, laughing with my friends. I must be really good at hiding my emotions. I looked over at Lisanna and saw that she wasn't laughing as much as before. She had a sort of agitated look again. What's her problem?

"Gray!" I heard Erza say. "I would like you to accompany me on a mission. I believe that your skills would be of use." She said formally. Gray simply shrugged his shoulders and took off his shirt. What the hell! What about me? I'm useful! My mood almost instantly went from sad to agitated.

"What the hell! Why does the stripper get to go?" I yelled. Said stripper immediately got in my face.

"It's because I'm actually useful. I'm not some flaming bastard that destroys everything." He said.

"You wanna go Droopy?" I yelled back. I had a red fiery aura around me, while Gray had a dark blue aura around him.

"Bring it on Squinty!" he shouted. We were about to fight once again. Then, just like last time, metal came between us. However, it wasn't just a threat this time. We both received a hard metal fist to the stomach.

"Must you guys always fight over every little thing? It's completely unnecessary." Erza said, in a voice that was so calm, it was scary. Me and Gray were on the floor writhing in pain. I swear that I'm going to throw up everything that I ever ate in my life. That's _a lot_ of food.

"Why're you looking so sick Salamander? I got hit in the bare stomach! You some kind of wimp?" my rival said, smirking. I decided not to mention the fact that he looked just as bad as me. "In case you're too dumb to notice, there's nothing under this vest! I got hit in the bare stomach too!" I yelled, trying to hold in my lunch.

"Sorry, but I don't go around looking at guy's stomachs! Especially ones that look like you." Gray said, slowly getting up.

"So now you're judging guy's looks? Wow, I didn't think that you went that way. It all makes sense now." I said. Gray glared at me and got ready to punch me. I was ready to intercept it, but I felt a sudden dark aura beside me. Both me and Gray immediately tensed up. We slowly turned our heads, and saw a very angry Titania. Her hair was covering her right eye, her hands were on her hips, and she was glowering at us. Yep, she's pissed.

Gray immediately jumped into action. "Why don't we go on that mission now? How long will we be gone?" he said nervously. If this was his attempt at calming her down, then he was doing a terrible job. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and opened them a second later.

"We will be gone for 2 months at maximum. I suggest you go pack." She said. At her last word, Gray immediately ran out of the guild. That bastard! Why does he still get to go? Apparently Erza saw me grumbling, and sent a glare my way. "Why don't you do something productive? Maybe go on a mission?" Her words were more like demands than suggestions.

I immediately hopped up and went to the request board. I scanned the board, but nothing really caught my eye. I looked in the upper corner of the board and saw a different looking request. I took it down and began to read. _Celestial mage needed. There has been some strange activity in my village, and my people believe that it is the work of a celestial spirit. They say that there is some horrible kind of monster in the forest at the edge of our village. My people say that it is some kind of spirit that can generate monsters. They describe it as a woman in a long white dress, and she is holding a scale. Our village has little food, and the forest is where we get our resources. Without the forest, my people will starve! Please help! Reward: A possible Celestial spirit, 100,000,000 jewel._

There was more, but I didn't get to read it. The paper was yanked out of my hand by someone. I turned and saw the petite frame of Levy. She was looking at the paper, stars in her eyes. "This is perfect!" she said. I looked at her confusedly. "Why is it perfect? Last time I checked, you aren't a Celestial mage." I said. I didn't mean to sound like a smart-ass, it just slipped out. Levy then turned to me and gave me a hard glare. She may be small, but her glare made me take a step back.

After what felt like hours of intense staring, Levy stomped away. As she walked away from me, her mood got a lot better. She got the job approved by Mira, and ran out of the guild like a giddy schoolgirl. What was that about? Why would she take that job? Why was I looking at it? It's not like I would have been able to do anything with it…...

I then felt a light tap on my shoulder. I turned around and saw a smiling Lisanna. She was looking at me with her big blue eyes, and she was holding a job in front of her. "Why don't we go on a job together Natsu? We haven't really gone on jobs with just the two of us. Gray and Erza were always there. So what do you say?" she asked me. Crap. The only reason that I was even willing to go on so many jobs with that ice freak is because I didn't want to be alone with Lisanna. Sure we hang out a lot, but it's never just the two of us. I like it that way. It keeps past feelings from resurfacing.

She looked at me with large hopeful eyes. I was about to say no, but something weird happened. Lisanna's eyes became a warm chocolate brown color, and her hair became longer and blonder. Instead of Lisanna, it was Lucy looking at me with large hopeful eyes. I couldn't say no to her big beautiful chocolate eyes. I then began to speak, but my voice sounded far away and dreamy. "Sure thing L-" I caught myself right at that moment. I was about to say Lucy. I snapped out of my trance, and Lucy immediately turned back into Lisanna (much to my disappointment). Lisanna jumped up in joy and pulled me into a hug. I responded to the hug slowly.

"Great! I'll go request the job from Mira-nee! This is gonna be awesome!" Lisanna exclaimed. I weakly smiled at her as she ran to the bar to find Mira.

A job alone with Lisanna. How bad can it be?

~Lucy~

Three weeks. 21 days. That's how long it's been since I've seen _him_. Three weeks since I've been to the guild. Has anybody even noticed? Has the team even noticed that I'm gone? Wait, I quit the team. I was so mad at Natsu that I quit on the spot. Is Lisanna on their team now? Do they even miss me? Have they even noticed my absence? I doubt it.

The only company that I have had was Levy, Happy, and my spirits. They all tell me the same thing. What do you see in that idiot? You can do so much better. He doesn't deserve you. Well, everybody except for Happy. He kept telling me that I'm misunderstanding the situation. He keeps telling me that Natsu misses me. When he tells me that, I start to feel kind of bad. What if I'm being too harsh? Well it's not like I'm staying home, miserable, just to spite him. What if he feels just as bad as I do? Maybe I should go and talk to him…

"Lu-Chan!" I heard someone yell from outside of my house. I ran downstairs and opened the front door. Standing in front of me was Levy, and she was breathing hard. "Ibroughtyouajob!Iknowthatyoudon'twanttobutyouneedthemoney!Plus,it'llgetyououtofthehouse!" she said in one breath. I looked at her quizzically. "I brought you a job! I know that you don't want to, but you need the money! Plus, it'll get you out of the house!" Happy translated as he flew into my house.

I slightly glared at the bookworm. She knows that I haven't been in the mood to do missions lately. Then again, I do need the money, but am I really ready? For the past three weeks I've been in a depression bubble. If I didn't have Levy or my spirits, then I wouldn't even be able to feed myself. They keep me from laying in my bed and wasting my life away. I really owe them a lot. Who knows, maybe this mission will actually be a good thing. It might help to get my mind off _certain_ things.

"I think you should take the job Lucy! You've been really depressed lately. It's making you gain weight….." Happy said, chewing on a fish that he got from my fridge.

"Shut up you stupid cat!" I yelled. Happy then flew to Levy, who was making herself at home on my couch. "Lucy is scary, Natsu!" Happy cried out of instinct. Realizing his mistake, he quickly dropped the fish and came to my side. "I'm sorry Lucy."

His apology kind of helped. At the sound of his name, a pain went through my chest. I dropped onto my knees and clutched where my heart should be. Why does it hurt so much? Why do I let it hurt? Why does love cause so much pain? Greatest feeling in the world my ass. "Where is that idiot anyways?" I asked, trying to gain my composure. Happy immediately castes his eyes downward. "He went on a mission." He said slowly, treating me like a china doll that could break any moment. It was partially true.

"Well why didn't you go with him? You're his partner right?" I said, slowly getting back to my feet. "He didn't go by himself." Happy whispered softly. Why is he so sad? Did something happen between them? "Who did he go with?" I asked. He probably went with Gray and Erza. But if that's the case, then why is Happy sad? He looked up at me with sad eyes. "Lisanna." Was the only word that left his mouth.

There it was again. The pain in my chest. No, not my chest, my_ heart_. I found myself on the ground again. Happy immediately ran to my side and rubbed my back, whispering comforting words to me. I could feel the cold wet tears running down my face. My body was trembling and I couldn't stop it. My lungs were struggling to get air into my body. I could feel the color leaving my face, and my body becoming weak. My eyes began to blur, and not from my tears. I heard two words before my world went black and I collapsed. They were my name.

"Lu-Chan!"

"Lucy!"

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><p><strong>AN: And there it is! Yet another chapter from me! Remember to review and tell me what you think! Do you guys want me to include Natsu's mission? Or do you want me to focus on Lucy all next chapter? Tell me in your reviews! I need to know! I love you guys! Bye Bye! :) :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:**** 2,982! That's how many words this chapter is! I feel so proud :) This is the longest chapter yet! nyway, hope that I didnt keep you guys waiting ofr too long! This chapter literally took me forever to make. Everything came to me in little thoughts, and it tok a while to put this together. Sooooooo I hope you enjoy! I put a lot of work into this :) :D**

**Disclaimer: I will _NEVER_ own Fairy Tail! D:**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

**~Lucy~**

I opened my eyes and saw….. nothing. As far as I know, it could've been something but it didn't look like anything. All around me was white. I couldn't tell if there was a wall next to me or if it was an infinite hallway. Am I standing on solid ground or air? Am I in some kind of infinite white void? What happened to me? Where are Levy and Happy? Are they ok?

So many questions were swimming through my head. What if I stay here forever? What if I never see anyone again? What if I never see _him_ again…

"Lucy. You have grown so much." I turned toward the direction that I heard my name from and my eyes bulged out. Tears ran down my face not a second later. A million emotions ran through me. A smile graced my lips, but it immediately turned into a frown.

If she's here, then I'm….

"That's right Lucy. Welcome to Heaven." My mother said.

~Natsu~

The worst part of the mission. The train ride. I could feel my lunch coming up just from being within 20 feet of that monster.

"Come on Natsu! You_ still_ have motion sickness?" Lisanna asked as we neared my demise. I simply nodded and resisted her tugging on my arm. We unfortunately kept walking until we reached the ticket both thingy. You know, that thing where the guy asks you for your ticket? Yeah, that ticket booth thingy. "Tickets please." The man asked nicely. I pretended to panic like I didn't have my ticket. I "checked" all my pockets and luggage, and came up empty.

"Oops! I guess I forgot my ticket! Well, looks like I'm not going on the mission after all! See ya when you get back, Lisanna!" I shouted. I started to speed walk away, but there was a tug on my arm.

"What are you talking about Natsu? I was holding your ticket, remember?" Lisanna said, holding up our tickets. I sighed and walked back to booth with her. She handed our tickets to the man, and we boarded my worst nightmare. Before we even got to our seats, my face was already green and my lunch already threatened to come up. Lisanna helped me to our seats and we sat across from each other. She stared at the scenery outside of the window, while my cheeks bulged out like I was a chipmunk. Watching her sit there peacefully reminds me of a certain blonde mage.

_Do you want to rest your head on my lap, Natsu?_ Is what Lucy would always ask me. Since the first time, I've always rested my head on her lap. It brings me some kind of peace.

"Do you want to rest your head on my lap, Natsu?" A voice said out loud. I slowly turned my head and saw Lisanna gesturing towards her lap. Why does this have to happen to me? Why does she have to be so much like Lucy? I don't remember her being like that.

"Mo banks." I said. I tried to say 'no thanks' so I hope that she understood that.

"Oh." She said awkwardly. Lisanna began to twiddle her thumbs as she looked down at the floor awkwardly.

"Well, why don't you think about something that makes you happy? Like our childhood memories." Lisanna said. The last part was said a bit softer, but I still heard it. Ignoring the last part, I began to think of good times that I've had. It started out as memories of me and Lisanna, and then it was about the many fights that I had with Gray. I then started to think about the fun missions that I've been on, but after that my mind shut down.

All things left my mind except for one. Lucy. Her silky blonde hair, her chocolate brown eyes, her smile, her laugh, and everything about her. I thought about the first time that I brought her to Fairy Tail, and our first ever mission together. I thought about all he times that I've been her knight in shining armor and times where she's saved me.

"You were supposed to think about every think _but_ her." I heard Lisanna grumble. I looked up and saw the irritated look on her face. Again. Why does she3 always look irritated nowadays? Wait, how does she know that I was thinking about Lucy? Can Lisanna…..

"That's right Natsu. I can read minds." She said, her face expressionless. Is she really the Lisanna that I knew? Or is she some kind of imposter?

~Lucy~

My mother stood there smiling. She acted like her sentence didn't have a huge effect on me. Is this really Heaven? Is my mother really standing in front of me? If I'm dead, then how is everyone handling the loss? How is Natsu dealing with it? At least he'll have Lisanna there to console him… Tears began to cascade down my face and fall somewhere unbeknownst to me. My mother saw this and took a few steps towards me.

She looked absolutely beautiful. Her long blonde hair was pulled back into an elegant bun and her chocolate brown eyes were full of love and affection. Her dress was absolutely amazing. She was wearing a white, satin hand beaded corset top evening gown with a mermaid skirt, a light silver cover up that matched the beads on the dress, and silver high heels. Upon her head was a sparkly silver tiara. Besides the outfit, I really am the spitting image of my mother. She stopped right in front of me and wiped my tears away.

"You have not fully crossed to Heaven, Lucy. The burden of heartbreak still eats at you. Once you cross over, the pain will be over." My mother said in a monotone voice. Do I really want to cross over? _The pain will be over_ is what echoed through my head.

I really want the pain to go away, but I can't be selfish. I f I officially die, will I be able to cope? Will I be able to "live" without my friends? Will my friends be able to live without me? My next question came before I even had time to register it.

"Is there a way for me to go back?" I asked. If I cross over I get rid of the pain, but I'd rather have my friends next to me, helping me with the pain. My mother slightly frowned and furrowed her brow, but it was only for a second. She then got a look of pure determination. I really am her daughter. "Very well then." Is all she said. Suddenly, the white around us began to bleed to black. My mother's outfit even became black and gray. She no longer had affectionate yes, and they were no longer a warm chocolate brown. My mother's eyes were a steely black color.

"I will show you the pain that will befall you if you go back." She said, her voice creepy and hollow. What shocked me the most is that her long blonde hair was now as dark as shadows. This woman was no longer my mother.

"I will show you the pain." The woman whispered one more time. Her body then began to blend into the darkness until I was completely alone again. What pain will she show me? What sort of pain could I feel if I have my friends there with me? As I started to think of what pain I could go through, an image formed in the darkness. It was Natsu, Gray, and Erza sitting at a table and laughing. Is this suppose to cause me pain? Memories of my friends? The image then rotated and showed a fourth person at the table. I expected to see myself, but I was wrong. Sitting with them was the "back from the dead" white haired Take Over mage, Lisanna.

Is this really happening right now? Are they siiting around laughing? Did they really forget about me? Was I just a replacement? I could feel the tears flowing out of my eyes and the pain welling up in my chest."This is your pain." a voice echoed in the shadows. This is my pain? My friends forgetting about me? This can't be real, right? They would never forget me that fast... right?

The scene then shifted to an even scarier sight. It was Natsu and Lisanna. Hugging. She had her arms around his neck and his arms were around her waist. I saw the job request in Lisanna's hand, and everything clicked. This was the job that Happy was talking about. Is this how things are going to be from now on? If I never visit the guild everyone forgets about me? Lisanna is Natsu's new partner? They're going on missions together, alone? Every time we went on missions together, Happy was always there. Is Lisanna an exception?

"Do you see now, child? This is the pain that you will face if you live again. Stay here, and you will become void of emotion. No more pain, no more heartbreak. Isn't that what you want? Don't you deserve happiness?" The voice said persuasively.  
>Is this what I want? It's not like my "friends" will notice if I'm gone. They have Lisanna now. But what about Levy, Happy, and my spirits? I'm one of the best owners that my spirits have had, so how will they feel? Knowing Levy, she'll blame Natsu for it all. I don't think that she would have the heart to blame Lisanna. Afterall, she is the girl that everyone wanted back in their lives. What am I? The replacement. Once you get the original back, you don't need the replacement anymore.<p>

My decision made, I wiped away my tears and got a look of determination. "You say that this place will bring me happiness? What kind of happiness? What could possibly bring me happiness here?" I said, my voice strong and even. Out of the darkness my "mother" appeared. She was wearing the same white dress as before. "You have me, honey." she said. Her eyes were warm and kind, but it wasn't genuine. The woman's smile was just as fake. This just made me angry.

"How dare you do this? Using the memory of my mother as a pawn to try and keep me in this hellhole? I will never stay here! Why would I want to be void of emotions? Do you think that would bring me happiness? Last time I checked, happiness _is_ and emotion." My voice was strong, but it was becoming weaker with every sentence.

"I know that going back will mean pain. I know that I may never have the man that I love. I know that I will face heartbreak and sorrow, but I want to live. I want ot be with my friends and have them help me through the pain. I'm always looked at as weak, and I want to prove them wrong." I don't know exactly who "them" is, but I didn't have time to think about it.

"I want to prove that I'm strong enough to not let my emotions kill me. Please just let me go back. It's not my time yet. Please." Tears were streaming out of my eyes again. I dropped down onto my hands and knees, as if I were bowing down to the woman. I couldn't stop my body from shaking. It was just like when I had passed out, except I could breathe this time. What if my begging isn't enough? What if this woman shows no mercy? What if I'm forced to stay here forever? What will I do then? All the possible what ifs were running through my head and I couldn't help but panic.

My tears were blurring my vision, but I saw a bright light emit from where the woman stood. I looked up slowly and I was shocked. The woman standing before me no longer looked like my mother. In all respect to my mother, this woman was a lot more breath taking than my mother. She had waist length straight dark brown hair, and her dress was amazing. It was a long white elegant dress that crossed around her neck and had no sleeves. Instead of elegant heels or jewelry, the woman was barefoot and had no kind of accessory. Well, that wasn't completely true. In her left hand she held a scale with one side of the weight silver and the other gold. On top of each plate of the scale, there was a mirror. I got to my feet and stared at the woman. She was a couple of inches taller than me, and her eyes were what caught me. Her eyes were a deep gold color with flecks of silver in them. This woman gave me a warm smile and I could see her eyes sparkle a bit.

"Congratulations Lucy. You have passed." The woman said in a voice so angelic that it could lull the rowdiest of toddlers to sleep. Congratulations? Passed? What have I passed? I looked at the woman again, but this time my eyes were drawn to her mirror. In the gold mirror I saw myself, but in the silver mirror I saw Natsu. My heart ached at the sight of him, even if it was in a mirror. Who is this woman?

"Allow me to introduce myself. I am the spirit of the Weighted Scales, Libra. What you just went through was a test. This is not really Heaven. I know when someone picks up the job request to come and find me. If you were to take the request, I wanted to see your true strength." Libra said.

"My true strength? I'm not very strong…." I let my voice trail off.

Libra simply smiled. "Strength does not have to be of the body. It can be of the mind… or the heart. What you just displayed was the true strength of your heart. I want an owner who I can respect for their strengths and protect during their weakness. I had to put you through this test and see for myself if you were emotionally strong. I could sense your unstableness, and I needed to be sure. You love this boy, but you feel that he loves another. Despite this, you would have been willing to live and deal with the pain."

I remained silent and continued to stare at the mirror image of Natsu.

"I am not just the spirit of balance between right and wrong. I am the spirit of balance between all things. Strength and weakness, good and bad, joy and disappointment, truth and lies, life and death. As I tested you, I found the balance between your strength and your weakness."

"So you're saying that Natsu is my weakness." I said dejectedly. Libra simply shook her head. The golden mirror image then shimmered into an image of the guild's Fantasia parade.

"Your weakness is your heart. Your emotions. Your heartbreak has weakened you and your soul. You need to overcome this, and restore balance. Your strength is your friends. They are what keep you moving. If you didn't have your friends, then you would have succumbed to the sorrows of your heart. Your weakness is tipping the scale, while your strength is losing weight. What will you do about this?" She asked me. I simply stared at her. So if this wasn't really Heaven, then I would have had to go back either? Even if I wasn't ready to face my weakness?

"Everything you have said is true. My emotions have been weighing me down. They have become my weakness. You are also right about my friends. They are what keep me alive. They're everything to me. This test was to see if I was stable, but it has done much more than that. I know my weakness, and I can now conquer it. I may not recover right away, but I know that I will eventually. Thank you, Libra." I said. She gave me a warm smile, and I gave her one right back. No more tears were going to fall from my eyes at this moment.

"I apologize for giving you this test after you have just passed out. I would have much rather gone through it while you were asleep, but the opportunity presented itself. You were at the peak of your emotions. My deepest apologies." I just continued to smile warmly at the celestial spirit.

"It's alright. That just made the test more emotional. And not to sound rude but, can I go back now? My friends are probably worried." I asked.

"Of course. I will see you soon Miss Lucy." Libra said. With her last word, a bright light emanated from her mirrors, and I had to close my eyes. When I opened them again, I saw a ceiling. I moved my body and realized that I was lying down in a bed. I could feel the warm covers over my body. I lifted up my top half, and realized that I was in the Fairy Tail infirmary. I looked around and noticed that I was alone. I could hear yelling, running, and glass being broken outside of the door.

"EVERYONE BE QUIET BEFORE YOU MAKE LUCY WORSE!" a voice boomed. No doubt Erza. I got out of the bed and slowly walked towards the door. Surprisingly, I felt completely fine. Like I was just taking a nap. I slowly creaked the door open, and everyone fell silent. They all stared at me. I could feel all of their eyes on me, wondering if I was the real thing. Once they were sure, their faces broke into wide grins and smiles and only one word came out of their mouths.

"LUCY!"

**YAY! She's alive after all! And you guys thought she was dead. SHAME ON YOU! NO COOKIE FOR YOU! JK JK. you all get cookies for reading my story c: Dont forget to review if you want more! I love hearing your thoughts on my story! :) Also, dont expect me to update any time soon. This chapter completely wiped me out! I'm new to this, so go easy on me! Plus, I need to bring my grades up :/**

**THX for reading and feel free to add this to your favorites or alerts ;) dont forget to review! :) :D  
><strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Yeah, I know you hate me. I haven't updated in what, 5 or 6 months? (/_\) I'm ashamed. But I was surprised that people were still subscribing and adding this to their favorites! I officially love you guys :* Anyway, I just wanna say thanks for that. On with the chapter! This one is short, but it was just to get my creative juices flowing!**

**Disclaimer: I will Never own Fairy Tail :c**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

~Natsu~

_Her lifeless body lay in a giant pool of blood. A knife was stabbed through her heart. The room was completely still and there was no sound. I stood there, staring down at her body. Her face was still beautiful, but it was lifeless. Her warm chocolate eyes no longer glinted in the light. There was no kind of emotion behind them either. I stood there, blood on my hands. I stared down at them, horrified. Had I done this? Am I the cause of her death? Why? I looked all around the room for an answer, but I found none._

_However, in the corner I saw something move. It was Lisanna, and she also had a knife through her. She was alive, but just barely. She looked at me with pained eyes. "Na…..tsu. Please…" She strained to say. Why was this happening? Who had done this? I was about to rush to Lisanna's side, but a voice suddenly began to speak._

"_You can save her. The one you love." It rang. What? What does this mean? "Who will you go to? Who do you love? Which one? You must choose soon." It said. I looked away from Lisanna's pained face to Lucy's body in the blood. I could save her? I then looked back to Lisanna, and the same question rang in my ears._

"_Please…. She alrea…dy gone. I might mak-" Lisanna's sentence was interrupted by a fit of coughing up blood. I wanted to blanch right then and there. All the blood, all the pain. I can save the one that I love… that didn't clear up the situation at all. I know that I love Lucy, but I don't want to lose Lisanna again. But, would I be able to live without Lucy? Do I love Lisanna?_

"_I-I love them both. Please, let me save them both." I said, tears threatening to leave my eyes. I was finally able to admit it. I love Lisanna too. Maybe not as much as I love Lucy, maybe not in the same way as Lucy, but I still love her. All those memories we had, and the day that I lost her. Lucy filled the void in my heart, but a part of me still needed Lisanna. When Lisanna walked through the door, my love slightly came back. That just made everything worse. I can't love them both. I can only be with one of them. But which one?_

"_Only one." The voice said. And with that thought, my world went black._

I woke up in a cold sweat for the second night in a row. That dream kept haunting me. Ever since I had gotten the news that Lucy had collapsed. I wanted to rush back home and be with her, but I didn't want to leave Lisanna alone. I was still contemplating whether or not this was the real Lisanna, but that wasn't as important. My emotions were conflicted between Lucy and Lisanna. I couldn't decide which one to be with, so I settled for staying in my current spot. This was making my heart hurt!

But what really puzzled me was what Levy told me over the communication lacrima. She said that it was my entire fault, that I was the reason that Lucy collapsed. Mirajane had told me that she was currently in a coma, and no one knew when she would wake up. _If_ she would wake up. They even brought in the grouchy old healing lady! She's the one that came to the conclusion that Lucy was in a coma. She said that it had something to do with Lucy's blood pressure and her heart not being able to completely handle something. I was too worried to listen to the whole situation.

Which brings me to my nightmare. Ever since Levy said that it was my fault, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I questioned what I did to make Lucy collapse. I came up with nothing. The dream also had something to do with my conflicted emotions. I had to choose between Lucy and Lisanna. I had to choose the one that I love, but the problem is that I love both of them. I wouldn't be able to live without the "what if" of if I had saved the other one. I can't sacrifice one for the sake of the other. They're my friends; my nakama. But what if I would have to face that actual situation? What if I would have to actually choose? What if I chose Lucy? What if I chose Lisanna? What if I couldn't make up my mind and they both died? What if-

"Natsu? What are you doing up this early?" A familiar sleepy voice said. I looked to my left and saw that Lisanna was sitting up in her bed and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. I stared at her for a moment, noting that there was no blood on her body, and no knife in sight. A sigh of relief escaped my lips. "I just had a bad dream is all. I didn't mean to wake you up." I said quietly.

"Was it about Lucy?" Lisanna asked knowingly. "Look Natsu, no matter what anybody says, it wasn't your fault. Master said that it was because her body and heart were overworked, and it caused her to collapse. How could you cause something like that if you were with me the whole time?" she reassured. She had a point, but I still felt responsible. What if it was something I did before I left with Lisanna? Was it because of our fight? Is it because she hasn't been to the guild in 3 weeks? Maybe if I had checked up on her instead of sitting around and moping like a little wimp and had actually gone inside of her house to talk to her….

I don't care what anyone says, this was my fault. So what's my next move?

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><p><strong>(-_-") Bring on the stoning. I know, i know It's not as amazing as my others. But like I said, just needed to get the juices flowing. Hehe, juices. Anyway, Review! Even if you absolutely hated it and don't think it's worth the gum on the bottom of your shoe, Review! c: Just tell me what you thought. Should I keep going? And thank you to all those lovely people who stayed by me! :* I will TRY to not leave you for so long again!<strong>


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